How to Help A Loved One Struggling with Addiction?

Your loved one struggles with addiction, what now?

I know what you’re looking for……real answers that will 100% help your loved ones stop using substances. Solutions to years of drama cycles, fear, and continuous chaos. Because, if you could just help them find sobriety, everything would be normal, and you could enjoy life again.

If you’re anything like me, you want to help your loved one struggling with addiction. Help plan, strategize, fix,……AKA control all the details to help. I mean, I am really good at planning and optimizing life. I rock at creating organized schedules and ensuring outcomes I desire. So why shouldn’t my loved ones who struggle with addiction listen to my advice?

What is keeping them from executing my perfect plans for their recovery?

Here are 3 steps to help your loved one struggling with addiction. Though I might warn you, the solution starts with shifting the focus back to yourself.


Step 1. Finding Awareness and Taking Notice


It is so easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of finding solutions for helping others, when they struggle with addiction. Whether it’s researching recovery centers, finding AA meetings, or googling the shit out of any and all options for their recovery. Take notice of where the focus is within that pattern of thinking….solutions for their recovery.

Step 1 is really about having awareness. Noticing that you need to begin your own recovery and stop trying to control others recovery. Trying to control others leads to frustration, resentfulness, anger, irritability…..and can make you just downright crazy.

What is triggering them to drink, use or return to their substance of choice? How can I stop it? Maybe I should just watch over their every step, make sure they aren’t doing anything to prevent sobriety. I should probably center my life around EVERYTHING they do, as to ensure safety and prevent the cycle of drama and suffering.

After all, if I can just remove all the triggers and find them an appropriate program, help them get another job, find them appropriate housing, locate a good healthy friend group for them, then the addiction would stop.

So, notice where the focus is, on them. No one can choose their actions or choices, except them. Become aware that you need recovery from the behavioral patterns that arise while living around those who are addicted. Begin your own recovery by taking notice of your desires to control others actions.

I invite you to try these affirmation when you want to shift your energy and focus on your healing, while releasing the need to control others choices.

I let go of the need to control others.

Freely and easily I release your actions, and find clarity for my own healing.

Each time I breathe in, I relax and release control.

Step 2. Accepting The Reality That Your Loved One Struggles with Addiction

What is acceptance? According to Sarah Ban Breathnach in her New York Times Bestseller, Simple Abundance, she explains it as surrendering to what is: our circumstances, our feelings, our problems, our financial status, our work, our health, our relationships with other people, the delay of our dreams. Before we can change anything in our life we have to recognize that this is the way it’s meant to be right now.

Of course, this outlook seems fine and dandy until you find yourself in the middle of a situation with a loved one who is struggle for their life with the fight against addiction. Or, when you find yourself crazy and scared of loosing everything in the middle of a chaotic drama cycle induced by a loved ones addiction.

Yeas ago I would have thrown the book across the room, denying any truth. This is NOT how it’s meant to be right now. I should NOT have so many people that I love struggling with addiction. What did I do to deserve all this heartache, chaos, and a life filled with fear and anger? But, after countless hours in my own recovery, I can understand the power in acceptance. So, Step 2 is this: Denial creates illusion and leads to suffering, embrace the reality of you and your loved ones journey. Change can not happen until we accept our reality.

Try these affirmations for accepting the reality of what is, right now.

For self: I love and accept myself, exactly where I am on my journey.

Similar, but for others: I love and accept others, exactly where they are on their journey.

I accept the past, and allow myself to heal and move forward in joy.

Step 3. Take Action for Your Recovery

Once you are aware that you have no control over your loved ones actions, and you have found acceptance in your journey, then you are ready for step 3. Release victimization by acknowledging what choices you can make towards your own healing. Taking action and letting go of your victim mindset can be very challenging. Read about my struggles with recovery realization and healing here.

Moving from victimized into the empowered designer of your life, especially when living in a constant state of survival, can seem overwhelming. In reality, it begins with just one step. Maybe it’s attending one Al-Anon meeting, to find support from others who understand the struggles. Or, reaching out to a trained therapist. It could be taking time, just a few moments each day to journal and write down affirmations to help you release control and find acceptance. And my favorite, using yoga and mediation to allow me to surrender complete control through my entire being; mind, body and soul.

When we practice small steps over and over, they add up to incredible change, shifting the trajectory of our entire life. Creating clarity during the chaotic storms that cycle when living around loved ones struggling with addiction.

For that reason, I have a daily practice. I am continuously working on my recovery. Through movement and meditation, journaling and affirmation work, I have found great success in releasing control and learning how to enjoy life once again. Even if my loved ones remain in their destructive addiction cycles.

Here are some affirmations to take action in your own recovery and healing.

I am the empowered designer of my life.

Today is filled with possibility.

Taking action is easy for me, I thrive in positive change.

In conclusion, how to help a loved one struggling with addiction? Begin your own recovery and healing journey through awareness, acceptance and taking action towards your own healing journey! Want to start today? Head to my YouTube channel for a free 40 Day Yoga Journey for Consistency.

Sending light and love!

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