How To Decide When To Stay, Or Go?

Finding Clarity While Living Around Addiction

The million dollar questions, that bring such agony while living around those who struggle with addiction. How to decide when to stay, or go? Or sometimes, should they stay or go? Whether you are living with a child, parent, partner or any loved one struggling with addiction, you have probably asked these questions yourself. You understand the heartache and pain associated with the hard reality around of living around the chaos of addiction.

I want to tell you that there is a simple, easy, quick fix that can help you transport instantly away from these tough situations and decisions. To help you jump right out of the confusion and chaos, into calm and joy. And feel reprieve from the daily turmoil that engulfs your physical energy and suffocates your mental clarity.

So, before you get fully immersed into this article, if you are looking for an instant solution, there is no quick fix.

Beware of anyone who tells you different. You love someone who struggles with addiction and the heartache and confusion is inevitably part of the daily process. On the flip side, I have found many tools that aid in helping make decisions from a place of compassion and clarity. There is much hope in healing and joy is possible, even if the addiction in your loved ones continues. Here are some of my methods to find clarity through the chaos.

And remember, although I haven’t found a quick fix, there is a solution with incredible hope.

Do Your Habits Bring Clarity, Or Continue The Cycling Chaos?

Where to start when tackling the confusion and chaos? Let’s begin by talking about habits, your habits. It is easy to get caught up in the habits and actions of your loved ones. To focus all your energy and actions towards calming the chaos and assisting in their recovery. It takes practice to shift your energy from constantly focusing on others actions, back to examining your own actions.

This is critical to healing. You must start to take notice your own habits. For it is within your own routine and patterns that you can begin to find what habits are actually working for you, and also where you can examine the ones are detrimental to your healing. This is where I’ve had tremendous success in finding clarity for making decisions.

Noticing the poor patterns and habits, and exchanging them for daily rituals that initiate intentional actions throughout my day. These rituals, once established into my life, are a constant reminder throughout the day. Continuously fueling my habits and patterns towards positive thinking, which leads to positive action. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits said it perfectly, “All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”

Rituals To Help With Clarity When Living Around Addiction

Rituals are the act of cultivating the delicate flower of decision making, one day at a time. When living around addiction, delicate is the most beautiful way to describe the process. At the beginning, the process seems tedious and fragile, rattled with roots ripped out with every chaotic situation. Read about my start to recovery here. But as you gain momentum and strength in your daily rituals, and positive actions towards healing, the roots grow stronger and delicate decisions grow into beautiful boundaries, full of compassion for yourself and loved ones.

So, what rituals can help build strong roots for finding clarity with the delicate decisions? I share my top 7 rituals below:

  1. Journaling – written vomit, clears the mind from daily fog, find clarity through releasing the chaotic swirl that consumes energy.
  2. Movement – shake out the stored up energy, walking, yoga, dancing, swimming……all rhythmic movement.
  3. Meditation – allow time to access the calm, ultimate action to release of control and allow clarity to come through stillness.
  4. Card drawing – affirmation decks, quick inspiration and easy reminders to take throughout the day.
  5. Paulo Santo – grounding energy clearing, awakens the senses, wraps the aura in supporting energy.
  6. Self-Care – time to support individual needs, and refill the energy bucket when depleted. Often as simple as a bath, or cup of tea, walk around the block, call to a friend. Necessary to incorporate as often as possible throughout the day, to ensure constant energy recharging. Need energy to give energy.
  7. Affirmations – simple positive phrases that snap my thinking and patterns away from negative spirals and shift into gratitude and empowerment. Some of my favorite affirmations are included this is past blog, check it out if you want some awesome affirmations for recovery!

How Can This Help Me Decide If I Should Stay Or Go?

Ok, now I know what you’re thinking… “How the hell am I supposed to fit in all this in everyday, when the chaos is everywhere, and how does this bring clarity with such real and challenging questions?” And don’t be discouraged, these rituals have taken years of figuring out what works for me. We are all different, with unique needs and desires.

So, choose what rituals sound and feel like it could work for you with the least amount of internal resistance? Start there. Pick one, and try it for a few months. I started with Morning Pages, an idea from Julia Cameron’s book The Artists Way. And I’ve stuck with them ever since. They help with clarity more than EVER! Releasing the mental swirling chaos, giving me a place to release the drama and heartache.

These rituals add up, over time. Changing the neural pathways, mental patterns, and habits that add to chaos instead of allowing clarity. Remove the swirl, find clarity, make decisions from a place of compassion and stability from deep within. It starts small, but adds up to giant incredible stable decision making skills.

Where will you start today? If you’re looking for a movement and meditation practice, check out my YouTube channel. I offer a short, free 40 Day Yoga Journey For Consistency to help you get started right now!

Sending so much light and love, and always reach out with questions or comments!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Join now for exclusive events, art release updates and events!